'Twas an
hour before closing and the agents were tense,
to close Christmas Eve just didn't make sense.
to close Christmas Eve just didn't make sense.
But the seller was booked on the 6 o'clock flight
and had warned "THERE WILL BE A CLOSING TONIGHT!"
The agents agreed because business was dead,
and visions of commission checks danced in their heads.
The loan was approved by the lender's good grace,
Everyone knew 'twas a borderline case.
The buyers divorced, remarried again,
Divorced once more, and now were just friends.
The loan
package complete to the closer was carried,
With instructions to close before they remarried.
With instructions to close before they remarried.
The title
commitment arrived via UPS,
From page One through Sixteen, a terrible MESS!
From page One through Sixteen, a terrible MESS!
An improper
legal, 3 judgments, a lien,
But a few lines on page seven, looked pretty clean.
But a few lines on page seven, looked pretty clean.
The title
was cleared and the closing was set,
But to finish today was not a sure bet.
But to finish today was not a sure bet.
The closer
dashed in waving her HUD,
It was covered with whiteout, coffee and crud.
But down in the corner you barely could see,
that the buyer still owed a buck thirty-three.
It was covered with whiteout, coffee and crud.
But down in the corner you barely could see,
that the buyer still owed a buck thirty-three.
So the closer
extracted a bill from her compact,
And the agents agreed to the rest on the contract.
And the agents agreed to the rest on the contract.
To add some
interest, the seller revealed,
to everyone's horror - the well wasn't sealed.
to everyone's horror - the well wasn't sealed.
And, oh yes,
he wanted to change the disclosure,
His mother just died of RADON EXPOSURE!
His mother just died of RADON EXPOSURE!
Everything
else in his house was O.K.
(his cracked floors and walls were always that way)
(his cracked floors and walls were always that way)
About that
time the buyer chimed in,
"we'd like to continue, but before we begin,
I noticed these papers - I'm likely to blame,
But I gave my agents the wrong legal name,
And one more thing I had hoped to avoid,
Does it really matter if I'm self-employed?"
"we'd like to continue, but before we begin,
I noticed these papers - I'm likely to blame,
But I gave my agents the wrong legal name,
And one more thing I had hoped to avoid,
Does it really matter if I'm self-employed?"
About this
time the closer exploded.
She pulled out a gun and said it was loaded.
Everyone froze and sat there amazed,
She frothed at the mouth and her eyes were both glazed.
She pulled out a gun and said it was loaded.
Everyone froze and sat there amazed,
She frothed at the mouth and her eyes were both glazed.
More rapid
than eagles, her curses they came;
she bristled and spouted and called them BAD names.
"THE CLOSING IS OFF, DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR??
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL - NOW GET OUT OF HERE!"
she bristled and spouted and called them BAD names.
"THE CLOSING IS OFF, DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR??
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL - NOW GET OUT OF HERE!"
Author unknown
My Comments:
This poem has been around for several years and I love it! Title commitments now arrive via email and a
closer should never extract a bill from her compact in a closing. The ending is quite rough, and because
closers do experience much stress, they should never be allowed to carry guns!
Merry
Christmas to all and to all a good closing!
Patti
St. Louis
“Accentuate the Positive!”
“Accentuate the Positive!”
713-824-8484
Business
Development Representative
First American Title Company/Attorney Owned Closing Office and
The Law Firm of John Roger Cox & Associates, P.C.
http://about.me/pattistlouis
First American Title Company/Attorney Owned Closing Office and
The Law Firm of John Roger Cox & Associates, P.C.
http://about.me/pattistlouis
Lovely! Just like you
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